“I’m Glad You Are Here. Have You Had Breakfast?”

School starts in a few weeks, and I will begin my 32nd year of teaching.  I know!  I never, ever thought I could do ANYTHING for over 30 years!  Every August, I stroll down memory lane, and usually remember some of my more challenging students or funny things that happened, but today I remembered an important lesson I learned the hard way.  

Years ago, I had a student who came late to school.  A lot. And not just a few minutes late…. nooo… like half way through math late.  You know how hard it is to try to reteach a full blown math lesson to ONE KID, and I was having to do this 2-3 times a week. Finally, one morning I chewed on him for being late, and asked him why he was late THIS morning.   He said it had been a bad morning. “We all have bad mornings.  I have bad mornings and I manage to make it here on time, Ron has bad mornings and he makes it here on time, Marissa has bad days and she makes it here on time!  Please tell me why you can’t seem to make it to class on time?”  So he did. 

"My dad showed up at my house, and he was drunk.  Dad knew my mom had got her check, and he wanted it, but Mom needed it to pay rent and hid it.  She was holding my baby brother and told us to go get in the car. My dad started cussing and hitting my baby brother so my mom would tell him where the check was hidden.  So she told him and while he was looking for the check, she ran to the car and tried to start the car, but it wouldn’t start.  My dad ran outside, jumped on the hood, and tried to break the windshield with his fist.  The car still wouldn’t start, so my dad grabbed a gas can and started throwing gas on the house so he could burn it down.  Mom finally got the car started and drove us to school."

 And that was his bad morning.  I had no words.  Absolutely none.  

“I’m glad you are here.  Have you had breakfast?” 

He hadn’t, so I sent him to the cafeteria with a note and he ate. That day I was humbled mightily and taught a powerful lesson.  As a teacher I don’t know what is going on with or kiddos and what battles are being waged at home.  I have absolutely NO CONTROL over what happens outside of school, but I have so much input on what happens once they walk through our door. I have the power to create a safe haven and a place where children want to be.  Someplace clean and warm and safe and happy.   I can let them know that I am glad they are here at school.  I can take care of the immediate needs.  "Are you hungry?"   Usually, they come hungry.  There might not have been any supper, and most certainly there was no breakfast, and nothing says love like food.  And we all know that hungry children don’t learn. Sometimes, they come tired because the music was loud or mom had to get the kids up and go to grandmas house in the middle of the night, or call the police to come and make the boyfriend or dad leave.  They may really just need food and a nap.  Sometimes kids want to talk about what has happened at home, but most don’t.  

Children have an amazing ability to compartmentalize their lives, and school serves as a safe place where there is electricity, water, food, smiles and a playground.  I need my classroom be a warm, inviting place to be, with a good structure and schedule in place.  Kiddos know what is expected, what is going to happen and when.  Lessons are engaging and meaningful and activities are interactive and the chaos of the morning or the night before fades away, if just for a little while. 

Its been 20 years since that morning, but the lessons I learned are still with me now.  So now, when one of my little dudes or divas come to school very, very late, I always, always tell them I am glad they are here at school, and ask if they have had breakfast.