This Old House

In 1991 we moved into our house.  Jacob was 4 and Luke was 2 and Ben wasn't even thought of.  The decision to buy the house was based on the big trees and nice back yard, and the fact that 3 minutes after we walked in the door, we knew this was our home.  And it was cheap. Our parents thought we were crazy, because this was a house who had seen better days, (built in 1954)  and was well lived in, but we didn't care.  We had scraped together a small down payment and we felt like real grownups... we were Homeowners. 

The first thing we did was to build a fence across the front yard because our 2 year old's latest hobby was touching cars... big ones, little ones....moving ones.  And he was fast.  One moment Luke was trying to put lipstick on the dog in the bathroom and the next minute he was streaking toward the busy street in front of our house in a quest to "touch da tars, Mommy!"

Over the years, we have painted, sanded, gutted, adapted and modified the house to suit our changing needs as the boys grew.  For a time, my brother rented out the garage apartment. We refer to those years as "The Slob Years", but he was a good tenant and my boys sure missed their Uncle Jim when he left.  When Jacob got older, he moved out to the apartment, where he reveled in his new found independence during the day and laid awake listening to the scary, weird sounds from the alley at night.  Several months after he moved out we discovered that he had used the wall in his closet for paintball practice.  It was a good thing he was in Iraq because I think his dad wanted to wring his neck.  And last year, we took down the fence because Luke was 21 and we figured that if he decided to "touch the cars" he could  just drive himself to the hospital.

We have built walls, taken down walls, planted gardens, grass and hidden treasures in the yard. The walls have been painted Country Blue, Hunter Green and now Mocha Delight. We have celebrated many Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries and graduations.  We brought my youngest son home from the hospital to this house and I have chased my boys around the house with a big wooden spoon after they colored on the walls with Sharpies.  The memories of family movie nights, science projects, basketball games in the backyard and Halo tournaments are here.  There are some sad memories too.  Hard times as we struggled with finances, depression, and loss.  It's all here in this house.   

Last week we moved to a nice brand new house.  No one has ever lived here before us.  We got to chose the paint and the counter tops. It even has that new house smell.  And today we celebrated our First Thanksgiving in the New House.  It was a good day, full of food and laughter and lots and lots of noise and pie.  Everyone is in bed now, and as I am sitting here in my recliner recuperating, I think of all of memories we will make here.  Hopefully mostly good, happy memories.

Today I Embarrassed my Son.

Yes, I totally embarrassed him.  It is not the first time and it won't be the last, but he is not likely to forget it for a while.  Here's what happened.

I showed up at Abilene High at 3:45. No Ben

4:00...  No Ben.

4:20... Found him in the small gym behind the basketball gym.   Turns out he had basketball practice after school and just couldn't seem to find the time to call or text me... keep in mind this is the child who texts his friends CONSTANTLY and can text, talk and walk at the same time, which by the way I cannot do.  If I try to text and walk, I usually fall down.  It isn't pretty.

Anywhoo, he is supposed to be at the football stadium at 5:00 sharp to practice with the band for the football game and the band director is a stickler for punctuality.  Ben assures me practice will end at 4:30.  I go back out to Mom Land (the parking lot) and wait in the car.

At 4:45, I enter The Gym.  A mom.  In The Gym.  Ben spots me and starts waving me away frantically, mouthing the words, "NO".  But I am determined.  As I approach the basketball coach all the boys on the sideline are looking at me with wide eyes.  A mom.  IN THE GYM!

For a moment, I waver, but then press on, determined.  I've come this far and there is no turning back.  I politely explain to The Coach that Ben needs to be at the stadium at 5:00 and ask when the boys will be released.  The Coach looks at me like I am pond scum and  out of the corner of my eye, I see Ben trying to hide behind his teammates.  Later, Ben made me promise that I would never, ever, ever enter The Gym again and under no circumstances am I to ever talk to The Coach again.  I agreed... 

And the moral of this story is always text your mom if you are going to be late.

Rules Are Rules!

 Today, one of my students was talking on his cell phone during class.  I told him that students were not allowed to talk on cell phones in school and he needed to put the phone in his pocket.  

A few minutes later, I noticed he had pulled his phone out of his pocket and was talking again!  As I headed toward him, he said, "I gotta go now.  She's coming!"  I confiscated the phone and told him he could have it at the end of the day when he went home.  

He was very upset, but rules are rules.


At this point you may be wondering why this is unusual and why I am writing about this because teachers confiscate phones everyday from students.  So I am including a picture of the phone. 

We are Going to Fwowida!

Well, school has started up again, and as usual my students are a great source of entertainment to me.  I love listening to them talk to each other.  It's like getting a glimpse into a secret society.  Lately, the subject of great discussion has been a proposed trip to Florida.  One of my little guys has been telling me that he and his family are going to "Fwowida" in 4 days.  He has been saying this for almost two weeks, so I'm not sure how credible this information is, but he seems pretty adamant. Although he did tell me last year that a zombie ate his cousin's cat, and he thinks my classroom is a paradise, so I will let you be the judge.  Anyway, he has generously invited the other students to go to Florida with his family.  He assured them that his mom and dad would say it was ok, and that they should pack a suitcase with clothes and toys and snacks and a swim suit because everyone in Florida has a swimming pool  and come to his house.  All this was during a math lesson about adding double numbers.  He was so convincing that by the end of class, the students were comparing notes on what they were going to pack and which toys they should bring to Florida.  I wonder if his parents would mind if I came too?

God Smiles When Children Pray

One of my favorite times of the day is supper time, not just because we are having mashed potatoes with butter, but because my grandson Wyatt likes to pray over his food.  He folds his sweet little hands and smiles so big at his Uncle Ben and Papa as we thank God for the food, but his favorite part is the end, when he gets to say with gusto, "A-Men".  Sometimes, he insists that we pray for the food several times and we do because we think it is adorable, but most of all because it makes Wyatt smile, and I would set my hair on fire to see that little boy smile.

 Last Sunday in church, Wyatt noticed that everyone had their head bowed and so he folded his hands and bowed his head, but apparently the prayer was going way too long for him, so periodically during the prayer, he would say, "A-men" quite emphatically to try to hurry things along, and finally gave it up and started playing with his cars in the church pew.  But for that moment when Wyatt joined us in prayer, I know that God must have smiled.

Basketball and the Big Boys

Every family has a sport. Ours is basketball.  Actually basketball is not our sport, it is my son Ben's sport and since he is the only boy currently living at home, we indulge him and watch lots of basketball, take him to basketball games and even put in a concrete basketball court and goal in our back yard.  My grandson, Wyatt spends a lot of time at my house, and absolutely idolizes and adores Ben, so he likes basketball too.

 Trek is Ben's best friend and although his love of basketball does not approach the obsessed level of Ben's, he does like to play.  And he loves Wyatt.  So inevitably, when Trek comes to the house, the basketball comes out.
 Usually, the two older boys play a little one on one, but as soon as Wyatt's sharp little ears hear the sound of the basketball bouncing on the concrete and hitting the goal, he races to the back window and stands, knocking on the window and yelling, "Ben, Ben, Ben", over and over in his sweet little voice, until someone has pity on him and takes him outside to play with The Big Boys.  Wyatt is in heaven.  He runs, he blocks, he shoots, he dunks (with help), he gives high fives, he whoaaaaaas! He is running with the big boys and loving every minute of it!

I love watching the boys play basketball.  I love watching the joy and excitement on Wyatt's face, and the patience of the older boys.  They are such good boys.  They will definitely be amazing fathers someday. 

Harry Potter and The Riddles

Yesterday, my family and I went to see the last of the Harry Potter movies, "The Deathly Hallows Part 2".  And yes, it was good. We went early to get good seats and had the good fortune of being first in line.  Yes, we were first.  That may not seem like a big deal to you now, but yesterday as the line got longer and longer, we were the envy of all.  Potter fans young and old, wished that they were us... the Riddle Family Who Was First in Line.  It was glorious!

When the 1st Harry Potter book came out, my oldest son Jacob was 10 years old and other than a few Goosebumps books, had never, ever read anything just for the pleasure of reading.  Until Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.  One afternoon I noticed that my son was very quiet and had been for a long time. He was reading a book... a novel.  He couldn't put it down, and I was ecstatic.  Then I heard that Harry Potter was an evil book that encouraged devil worship and witchcraft and I was crushed.  The only book on the planet that my rough and rowdy boy wanted to read would turn him to a life of crime in the occult.  So I did what moms do... I read the book.  I loved it!  It was like "Lord of the Rings- the Children's Version" 

Through the years all three of my boys have read all 7 of the books. More than once.  We have waited with anticipation for the movies and watched the DVDs on movie night.  Harry Potter has been a big part of our family for well over a decade and although we were excited to see the last installment, we were sad that it was The Last One.   The books and movies not only entertained us and gave us many years of Halloween costume ideas, but it taught children everywhere some very important lessons.  In honor of the Very Last Harry Potter Movie,  I would like to share what I have learned from Harry Potter.

1. Evil is evil.  It is not funny or cute or weak.  It is mean and ugly and destructive and hurtful and dark.

2. Evil can be defeated, but cannot be destroyed (except in the last movie).  Evil is always with us, and we must be vigilant and always try to walk in the light.

3. Good friends are essential.  We cannot fight evil alone and need the strength and companionship of loyal friends who will stand with us in the worst of times and laugh with us in the good times.

4.  Our past does not define our present or our future.  It doesn't matter where we come from, but our actions define who we are now and what we will be in the future. (Deep, huh?)

5. It is ok to be scared and confused, but we can't let that paralyze us. Bravery is taking action even when you are scared.

So farewell, Harry Potter The Boy Who Got My Sons to Read. Thanks for everything.

Chocolate vs. Mashed Potatoes- My Thoughts on Marriage

Lately I have spent a great deal of time thinking about relationships, most notably marriage and being the sugar addicted, carb loving foodie that I am, have defined the marriage relationship in terms that are near and dear to my heart.  Chocolate and mashed potatoes. (Insert happy sigh of contentment here).

Most marriages generally begin with hearts, bunnies and rainbows.  New love is bright and shiny, like gold in the sunlight.  Promises of undying love and passion are made, and the future is a rose petal strewn journey with the love of your life.  Your love burns as pure and fierce, and you vow that the bond between you will never be broken because you have found your soul mate.  It is like chocolate.  It's happiness... sweet, strong, wonderful and intensely satisfying, but not particularly sustaining or nourishing for the long haul.  

Time passes, and the love and passion that burned so bright and fierce is a more subdued glow.  The new and shiny has worn off and is now a burnished patina. You know your love so well, you can finish each other's sentences (... in the top drawer of the dresser) and predict which entree your sweet hubbie will order in the restaurant. (The one with habenero peppers or curry.)  The little quirks that you once found so endearing, now are irritating. (Does he really have to check his hair EVERY time he gets in the car?)  But you are linked together through shared memories, experiences and children and your lives are intertwined to the point where its hard to tell where you end and he begins.  You are no longer Rick and Lisa, you are The Riddles.  And when hard times come...and they do, sometimes all that keeps the bond from fraying is the commitment you made to God and to each other so long ago in the presence of family and friends.  But you beat the odds and survive and grow and thrive. The relationship is comfortable but deep and rich.  Just like mashed potatoes. With butter. Lots of butter.  It is contentment... not as exciting or intense, but is sustaining and nourishing to the soul.

Getting married is hard and staying married is even harder, but as much as I love chocolate, I will take mashed potatoes any day... for the next 20 or 30 years.

William

"William" is a student of mine who reminds me of a little leprechaun.  He is small with red hair that stands up in all directions all the time, green eyes and freckles.  His favorite color is pink.  He spends a lot of time thinking about his future and what he will be when he grows up.  Everyday, he has a new plan and everyday he bounces up to me and says, "Mrs. Riddle, do you know what I am going to be when I grow up?"  The answers vary and always comes in pairs... a circus clown and a veterinarian, the president and a cook, a farmer and a airplane pilot.  His most recent plan though struck me as especially interesting.  "Mrs. Riddle, do you know what I am going to be when I grow up?  Before I join the military, I'm going to be a substitute teacher".  Quite a combination.  Both will put him in a combat zone, but only one will provide hazard pay.

Coffee, Hot Chocolate and Missiles

Today, in honor of President's Day, I asked my students to draw a picture of what they would do if they were the president.  Several mentioned that they would make gas free, several said they would close all the schools (I get a few of those every year!) and one rather eclectic student said he would lay on the carpet, play darts and paint the walls pink! But the most interesting idea came from one of my students who is usually not prone to inventive or imaginative answers.  He brought me a picture of a machine with three buttons and a stick figure president with his hand near one of the buttons.  When I asked him what the buttons were for he said, " One button is for coffee, one button is for hot chocolate and one button is for the missiles to kill the evil doers and the drug dealers".  Coffee, Hot Chocolate and Missiles.  Works for me.

You Shouldn't Drink and Drive

"You shouldn't drink and drive, Mrs. Riddle.  You could have a wreck"  This is what one of my students told me very earnestly.  I assured him that I would never, ever do that and took advantage of what I saw as a perfect "teachable moment" to do a little mini lesson on the dangers of drinking and driving.  I was quite proud of myself until the student explained why drinking and driving could cause you to have a wreck.  Apparently, his father and another man in the truck next to him were exchanging insults while driving down the road.  The other man then threw his open beer can on the dad's windshield, beer spilled all over the windshield and his dad hit a tree.  And that, my friends is why you should never drink and drive.

Zombies are not real

I teach special education in an elementary school and I love it...  most of the time. I wear many hats and one of them is to take a small, eclectic group of younger students and work with them on reading and math skills. I call them my little bitties. There are 6 of them and I have them the first hour of my day. I never really know what is going to happen each day, and that used to bother me, but as the year has progressed, I've learned to just roll with it. For example, on Monday my lesson plans showed that we would be exploring the wonders of the short o word family, but instead, I spent the morning trying to convince one of my students that zombies were not real. No they are not. I know you saw them last night on tv, but not everything on tv is real. No it's not. Just because your cousin says that a zombie ate his cat does not mean they are real. Zombies are NOT REAL! As I passed his desk, I heard him whisper, "Zombies are real" very, very quietly. Sometimes, you just have to let it go. So if your cat is missing...... maybe the zombies got him!